Friday, January 8, 2010

Pets, ya gotta love em!

Hello my Glittery peoples! I am so dreadfully sorry that I have not posted this week! Sunday afternoon I was bringing groceries up my front steps when my dog bounded out the front door and ran me over, causing me to lose my balance and fall backwards down my steps, and I put my hand back to try and catch my fall and landed with all my weight on my bent wrist, spraining the hell out of it! Talk about painful! 

It hurt so bad I ended up in the emergency room and found out I had severely sprained it and ended up in an air cast for 5 days. I was unable to type because of the pain and because of the cast, so I have been spending some quality time with my couch and a few pain killers. I went back to the doc today and they told me I could remove the air cast, but it still hurts if I try to use it to much,but I had to type a post so no one thinks I just ran off for no good reason!

I hope everyone is handling this cold weather that seems to be affecting the whole country. We even got a light dusting of snow here in the Bayou and that is unheard of! So I have spent a lot of time bundled up with a blanket watching movies and doing a whole bunch of nothing lol.

Hopefully the pain will lessen day by day and I will be back to my old self. Typing does not hurt to bad so I should be posting more real soon! This weekend will be a busy one as I can clean some now, and we have a dinner with friends tomorrow night so that should be fun.

Stay warm and talk to you all soon!

Add some Sparkle to your life!!!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

New Year, New Start....

It is a chilly and blustery day here on the Bayou...the wind is blowing so hard there are white caps on the river in my backyard! The day is bright and sunny, and the winds, while cold, are refreshing, and hold promise.

The hubby and the kids have been taking down all the holiday decorations from outside, and the tree came down this morning. I was a little sad, it was still beautiful, but the New Year is here and it is time to sweep out the old to make room for the new.

We had a great New Years, we had a party here at the house with a few close friends. It was a family function, all the kids running around playing and making noise, excited to be able to stay up late and play with their friends. We had a nice buffet style dinner, with pizza and breadsticks and sweets, and the adults indulged in a little wine and champagne when the ball dropped. After that we headed outside, as up and down the river, the folks set off fireworks high into the sky, with the beautiful full moon looking down on all the festivities. It was a comfortable and magical night, and I thought it was a perfect way to ring in the new year. I spent new years eve day making homemade party hats and keepsakes for our guests, with tons of glitter of course, as I AM the Glitter Goddess lol...I wish I had pics to share, but my camera has been broken for months and until income tax time in a couple of months I will not be able to replace it. I am hoping to get a better one that my old point and click digi cam, since I really want to get into photography this year. We shall see how funds are.

I see I have a couple of followers now, and I want to say hello and welcome!  I would like to say a special hello to Bella, and I think it is very neat that our lives are similar, and I wish we lived closer as well, I am sure we would get along famously! 

This past year has been a struggle for a lot of folks, and I am glad it is over. I look forward to this year, and I hope that there is an easing of the stress that has been eating at the world at large in 2009.

I intend to make this year one for personal growth, and to do things a little differently than I usually do, I want life to be...MORE...this year for lack of a better term. Life is what you make it, and I am going to make it spectacular!!!

Now I am off to finish putting the decorations away, and I think I will rearrange the furniture while I am at it, since everyone is home today! 

Happy New Year everyone!

Monday, December 28, 2009

Body Image Fears, or, I Want To Look Good Naked...

Body Image is a scary thing for most women. Even more so for us "Fluffy Gals," when the societal norm tells us we should all look like a 92 pound toothpick.

I am a fluffy gal, and have been since my first daughter decided to use my uterus as her Summer Home 13 years ago. I have gone up and down the scales, but I have always had some extra padding. I am ok with this usually. Luckily for me, so is my husband. "More cushion for the pushin" he has said a time or two. However, even with an accepting husband and a mostly accepting sense of self, since I left work I have gained weight, and at times the thought of getting naked makes me want to run screaming into the nearest dark room. I spend a good deal of time in this very computer chair, as I am more of an "Indoor kind of girl," and as my husband and I are both great cooks, there is never a shortage of good things to eat around here.

That being said, we actually do NOT eat a lot. Neither of us eat during the day usually, dinner is usually our only meal, and we are not big snackers. He has a physically demanding job, unlike me, whose main job these days is to hold the furniture down and make sure my preschooler does not destroy the house or herself, so while I understand why I am fluffy, I do not understand why my husband has a "beer gut" when he does not drink, and does not eat much, and certainly expends more calories than he takes in. It is a conundrum for sure.

He has no issues with his body however. Yes he has a gut, but he has tree trunks for legs and some super powerful arms on his 6 foot frame. He is happy with himself and I think he is very attractive. He thinks I am very attractive, and some days I do too....and some days I do not. Since I left work I have put on about 30 pounds, bringing me up to 250...on a 5'6 and a half frame....and while it is not the most I have ever weighed, I was pregnant those other times and had a damn good reason. Now, not so much!

The problem is, I am ok with myself in just about every way, until it comes time to get down and dirty. Then I freeze up, do not want to be touched more than absolutely necessary, and I want to do it in the position that least showcases my jiggling bits. This causes my husband endless frustration. He tells me all the time he is attracted to me, wants me, and wishes I would let the fear go and just be in the moment. I wish I could do that as well.....but it has come down to the lights off, only get undressed as little as possible and as soon as it is done I am up and out of there, covered back up like I was before we started. I know that the problem is me, and all mental and emotional, but I have no reason to be this way. Granted when I was a kid and a teen, my parents liked to tease me ( THEY call it teasing, I sure as hell don't ) about my weight, which is funny because until I was 18 I was the perfect weight for my size. None of the men I have been with ever had a problem with my weight, even after I got heavier. The issue has always been ME. I really hate it when I get in my own way.

I used to be a firecracker. Always ready for it, always threw all of myself into it, I could not get enough, I LOVED to have sex with my partner. Then after I had my youngest daughter, I had my tubes tied, and it took a while to recover from that was hard, ended at 28 weeks and my daughter had to stay in the hospital for a month. Ever since then, it seems that every bit of energy went to recovering and taking care of my daughter. There was nothing wrong with her, she was just tiny, no health issues or anything, and after she came home she was a great baby. I stayed home until she was 9 months old, then I went back to work, and then all my energy went to work and my kids...what little I had left went to my husband, who understood and was ok with this. I worked for the next three years until I suffered a burnout..I was a manager of a restaurant and I was working 60+ hours a week, then had to come home and be a mom and wife. I was exhausted. We sat down and discussed it and we decided I would take some time off and be a stay at home mom for a while. Two and a half years later I am still here lol. My youngest starts school next Fall and I will go back to work then, but in the meantime, as I said in my first post, I kind of lost myself along the way. My passion and my zest got buried under the everyday routine of life.

I want the old me back...I want that fire back, the spark we used to have. Now I know that every marriage goes through this, it can not stay new forever, but the fires died down way before they should have in my opinion, and it is my fault, not his. He is still just as loving and passionate as ever, at least as much as I will let him be. So it is me that needs the overhaul, and the kicker is, I do not even have to lose weight to do that, I just need a mental shift about how I view myself. I am highly intelligent, funny, attractive, and have a lot of good qualities. I KNOW all this. So why in the hell is this one little ( ha ha ) thing causing me so damn much trouble??

Better yet, how in the hell do I fix it??

Until next time,

Add some Sparkle to your life!

Who Am I, and Why Am I Here?

Hello and welcome to my little piece of blogging real estate!

I go by the handle of The Glitter Goddess in these parts, because I am Pagan, I have an unnatural affection for glitter, and I am currently trying to reclaim my inner Goddess.

I am not new to blogging by far, but I wanted to branch out in a new direction. I found myself in a rut, feeling like someone had their hand clamped over my mouth, preventing me from saying what I really wanted to say, so I put on a new name and a new blog and hope to go places I did not feel comfortable going before.

I am a very sarcastic person, and I tend to shoot from the hip. I call it like I see it, and sometimes people do not like that about me, but it is what it is.

My main goal here is to share the journey I am on, learn and maybe even help someone else who is on a similar path. I am a wife and a mother of 3, in the Bayous, who stays at home to raise my family. I left work 3 years ago, and along the way, I started to find myself, but then, as so often happens, I got turned around and seemed to have misplaced myself again.

I have been a Pagan a little over half my life ( I am on the downhill side of 30, soon to be 31 in case you are wondering ) married  to a wonderful Pagan man, I have two beautiful daughters and a handsome son. I am a loner....most of the time by choice.

I like to cook, read, write, blog, study my Tarot and other things that catch my interest, I am a compulsive sweeper, I hate dishes and laundry with a passion, and I vacuum way to much. I am a pretty humorous gal, again in a sarcastic way, and while I do not consider myself to have strong opinions on things in today's world, the more I write and the more I read, it turns out that is not as true as I thought!

Anyway, now you know the basics, and I guess now I will insert a warning, which is you never know what you may find here, so try to keep an open mind and a sense of humor, you are more than likely gonna need both while your here

Until next time...
Add Some Sparkle to Your Life!